Hear me quickly, Lord

Hear me quickly, Lord
For my mind soon wonders to other things
I am more familiar with
and more concerned about
than I am with you.
Words will not do, Lord.
Listen to my tears,
for I have lost much
and fear more.
Listen to my sweat,
for I wake at night,
overwhelmed by darkness and strange dreams.
Listen to my sighs,
for my longings surge like the sea –
urgent, mysterious, beckoning.
Listen to my growling gut,
for I hunger for bread and intimacy.
Listen to my curses,
for I am angry at the way the world
come down on me sometimes
and I sometimes on it.
Listen to my cracking knuckles,
for I hold very tightly to myself
and anxiously squeeze myself
into others expectations
and them into mine,
and then shake my fists at you
for disappointing me.
Listen to my footfalls,
for I stumble to bring good tidings to someone.
Listen to my groans,
for I ache towards healing.
Listen to my worried weariness,
for my work matters much to me
and needs help.
Listen to my tension,
for I ache toward accepting who I am
and who I cannot be.
Listen to my hunched back,
for sometimes I can’t bear
the needs and demands of the world anymore
and want to put it down,
give it back to you.
Listen to my laughter,
for there are friends
and mercy
and something urges me to thank.
Listen to my humming,
for sometimes I catch all unaware
the rhythms of creation
and then music without words
rises in me to meet it,
and there is joy of romping children
and dancing angels.
Listen to my blinking eyes,
for at certain moments
when sunlight strikes just right,
or stars pierce the darkness just enough,
or clouds roll around just so,
or snow kisses the world into quietness,
everything is suddenly transparent…
and something in me is pure enough
for an instant
to see your kingdom in a glance,
and so to praise you in a gasp —
quick,
then gone,
but it is enough.
Listen to me quickly, Lord.

Written by Ted Loder, Guerillas of Grace